Wednesday, September 09, 2009

My Day. Thanks for Asking.

My Day Job

I work with computers, and while I make it a point to not talk about my office life, I feel it is my duty to try to illustrate to you non-computer people what working with computers is like; it may keep you from making a serious career move error.

To keep it simple, let’s equate any of the myriad of simple tasks I have to perform during the course of my work day to something that you can readily relate to: your task is to come home, hang your coat on the hook in the hallway and eat dinner before going out with your friends to the pub. That’s it; a sequence of two simple tasks followed by a reward.

So you enter your home and hang your coat on the hook.

It falls on the floor.

You pick the coat up and check it. There is nothing wrong with it. You hang it on the hook again.

It falls on the floor.

You check the hook; there is nothing wrong with it. You hang your coat on the hook again.

It falls on the floor.

You try to hang your coat on the second hook, instead.

It falls on the floor.

You take a scarf off of the third hook and hang it on the second hook.

It stays in place.

You hang your jacket on the second hook.

It falls on the floor.

You hang the scarf on the first hook.

It falls on the floor.

You put the scarf back where you got it on the third hook.

It falls on the floor.

You now methodically try hanging your jacket and the scarf on each of the three hooks and watch as they each fall to the floor every time.

You mumble to yourself for a while, then do a Google search on the specific style, brand and version of the hooks.

You find there is a “known Issue” with this type of hook which causes anything hung on the first hook to be ever after unusable on any hook.

After an hour of perusing help forums and technical blogs, you come to understand there is nothing you can do about this. You are advised to not try removing the hooks and replacing them in a different order because it won’t help.

You remove the hooks and replace them in a different order.

It doesn’t help.

You remove the hooks, throw them away and go to the nearest hardware store.

It’s closed.

You go to the next one.

It’s closed.

You find an open one in an industrial estate 20 miles away. The man says you should have kept the hooks; he knows a way they can be fixed.

You buy three different hooks and return home.

The new hooks are not compatible with the base board the original hooks were installed on.

You return to the hardware store and buy a multi-functional baseboard.

The new baseboard needs modification before going onto the wall. This causes the hooks, which now fit, to be fastened upside down. They work fine, but you can’t hang anything on any of them.

You pick up your coat and scarf, fold them up and put them in the linen cupboard.

You try, but fail, to convince yourself that this is a better solution than the hooks anyway.

By now your friends are having a great time at the pub and you have not actually completed your first task. Still, you might just be able to make last call if you cook and eat your dinner quickly.

You head to the kitchen, take a ready-meal out of the fridge and put it in the oven.

The oven won’t light . . .

Posted by Mike
Somewhere in South Wales

PS: Just as I attempted to post this, the train went into the longest tunnel I have ever seen. We're still going through it; I think it must come up near Swindon.

PPS: We finally came out of the tunnel and, after I got my signal back and attempted to log on again, we entered another one.

Not. My. Day.


  1. My day is no better, believe me.
    One day we both will be famous writers so this pain is only temporary, eh. :))

  2. Yes, this too shall pass ;)