It's time to admit that things are not going very well.
True, I have a completed novel and my non-fiction manuscript is out looking for an agent but the novel is seriously stalled and I have no confidence in my agent querying method. Plus, I'm suddenly and inexplicably negative about the whole writing thing. I can't seem to figure out how to rework my novel, I don't know what, if anything, is wrong with my query letters, I have no enthusiasm for writing new, humorous articles and I can't even seem to get around to updating this blog.
My writing target for this fiscal year is six hours a week. That's out of a possible fifteen I have set aside (I get up at 5AM and supposedly write for an hour, then I have an hour on the bus going in to work and another hour coming home). I managed five hours and forty-five minutes last week and that was mostly by working on my web site and writing in my journal. This week is about shot and I've only managed three hours, and that includes updating the blog.
I don't know what's wrong other than I feel washed out and fatigued both mentally and physically. For the past week, in the evening, when I'm supposed to be writing, I end up surfing the web and then, realizing I'm bored with it, I sit and watch TV, which leaves me feeling guilty. The idea of quitting writing has even occurred to me; after all, I'm imposing all of this on myself, no one is making me do it, I don't need the money, so why am I torturing myself? The problem with that is, if I do stop writing, I know I'll feel even worse.
My web-surfing this morning at least had a purpose. I managed to find a few useful writing web sites that I hadn't stumbled upon before. There were some interesting articles and links to books on writing. I printed out the articles, book marked the site and ordered six books. They cover a variety of subjects--query letters, novel plotting, agent advice--and will, hopefully, enable me to re-lay the foundation of my writing 'business.'
At the vary least, reading them will give me something to do with that spare fifteen hours a weeks.